


We Have Porn?

by canthelpmyselves



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Barry Gets His Revenge, Leonard Snart Being an Asshole, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:26:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23104699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canthelpmyselves/pseuds/canthelpmyselves
Summary: Len thinks it's funny to steal Barry's movies.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Leonard Snart
Comments: 29
Kudos: 202





	We Have Porn?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lady_Lightning](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Lightning/gifts).



Len smirked as his phone alerted him to a new text. Opening it up, his smirk grew into a full grin.

**Scarlet: Did U steal my copy of Braveheart?**

**Cold: Why would you think I stole a movie from you?**

**Scarlet: I kno U did! U also turned my thermostat down to 45!**

**Cold: Who keeps their apartment at 74 degrees?**

**Scarlet: I do! I want my dvd back!**

**Cold: No self-respecting thief returns their loot.**

**Scarlet: Jackass.**

Popcorn popped, beer beside his chair, and lights dimmed, Len’s apartment was perfectly set for his planned evening. He sat in his new recliner and got comfortable before picking up the remote and turning on the tv. As the opening credits for Braveheart started, he couldn’t help but chuckle. 

***

“Hey, Jerk!”

Len looked back over his shoulder at his sister as he stirred the soup on the stove. “What?”

Lisa stepped into the kitchen holding up a set of movies. “Since when do you have a thing for Vin Diesel?”

Len’s lips quirked up on one side as he looked at the titles for Witch Hunter, XXX, and Pitch Black. “They’re good action flicks,” he excused.

“Please,” Lisa scoffed, separating Witch Hunter from the other two. “I remember when this was in the theaters and that twink you were dating wanted to see it. Halfway through the movie you dumped him because he had 'unacceptably bad taste'.”

Len turned back to the food so she wouldn’t see his expression. “He did. He liked pineapple on pizza, remember?”

He heard Lisa move closer and was just able to blank his face by the time she was leaning against the kitchen counter, eyeing him closely. “Spill,” she ordered.

Len huffed, knowing from her tone that she wasn’t about to drop this. Thankfully his phone pinged and he had a good excuse not to answer. Of course, once he saw who the message was from, he wished he’d just focused on Lisa instead.

**Scarlet: Srsly?!!! What is wrong with you?!!!!!**

Len jumped when Lisa snatched his phone out of his hand. “Give it back!” he demanded.

Lisa snorted as she scrolled through his phone. “You stole the Flash’s movies?” she teased. “Oh my god, Lenny! Why don’t you just pull his pigtails while you’re at it?”

Len managed to snag his phone back from her and shoved it in his back pocket. “An annoyed speedster is a distracted speedster,” he grumbled. “He won’t be on top of his game for our next heist if he’s too busy worrying about his belongings.”

Lisa rolled her eyes as she turned off the heat and began ladling the soup into bowls. “Whatever you say, jerk. Just remember, you get more flies with honey than vinegar.”

Len took a bowl and sat down, sniffing delicately. “I know what I’m doing,” he insisted.

Lisa snorted but didn’t say anything else.

Later, once Lisa was gone and Len was reclining in his bed he pulled his phone back out. There were several more texts waiting.

**Scarlet: I’m changing my locks.**

**Scarlet: And getting a guard dog.**

**Scarlet: Dammit! U ate my cookies, too?**

**Scarlet: >:( !**

Len grinned and put his phone away as he rolled over. He wondered if Barry realized he’d stolen the soft sherpa blanket that had been in the closet, as well. Pulling it up over his shoulder, he snuggled down and closed his eyes. 

***

Len looked around the living room with a grin. Barry had done some rearranging after his last visit. The movie shelves were empty and the entertainment center only held a few musicals now. He scoffed silently at Barry’s amateur ploy. He wasn’t a premiere thief for nothing. He knew better than to go for the obvious decoys. Undeterred, Len strolled to the bedroom and looked around. The closet and dresser only held clothes. The totes under the bed held books, photo albums and a few school awards. The bedside table had the normal items, such as condoms, lube and tissues but no movies. Maybe Barry was a bit sneakier than expected. Len headed back through the apartment, checking the bathroom and hall closet but finding nothing. The last room was the tiny kitchen. The cabinets and pantry held non-perishable food and under the sink were a few cleaning products, but not what he came for. 

Len sat down at the table and thought carefully. Where would the kid hide his movies? Star labs, maybe? Even with his speed, that would be inconvenient. West’s house? It was closer but still a pain to run back and forth. Len was about to stand when he noticed that the fridge was sticking out several inches from the recessed space between the counter and the pantry. 

“Sneaky,” he grinned, walking over and pulling the appliance away from the space. Behind it was a slim bookshelf, stuffed to the brim with movies. Most were crammed in tight but there were a couple laying on top. Len looked at the titles and smirked wider. The Star Wars series was essential for any self-respecting nerd. He grabbed all six dvds and stuffed them into his pockets. He carefully maneuvered the fridge back in place and left.

***

Len settled in his recliner happily. He wondered if Barry had noticed his reduced movie collection yet. He had a beer and his Big Belly order and Star Wars IV in the player.

Lisa sauntered in and draped herself over the couch. “Movie night?” she teased.

He rolled his eyes at her, hit the play button and lifted his beer to his lips.

***

“Dude, your phone’s been blowing up for an hour,” Cisco grumbled when Barry finished patrol and sped to a stop in the center of the cortex. Barry accepted it from Caitlin, (she was in charge of it while he was out since Cisco had a tendency to try and ‘upgrade’ it, while also snooping his texts and pics) and began reading his messages.

Caitlin and Cisco both jumped when Barry burst into riotous laughter.

**Cold: WTH!!! Did you replace ALL your movies with porn?**

**Cold: Dammit, Lisa was here! Now she thinks these are mine!**

**Cold: There’s Flash/Cold porn?!!**

**Cold: That’s ridiculous! My cock isn’t made of ice!**

**Cold: Soooo… can you actually vibrate your dick?**

**Cold: Can you?**

**Cold: I’d bottom forever for that.**

**Cold: Answer me, Scarlet!**

**Cold: As your nemesis, that seems like something I should know.**

**Cold: Leaving a guy in suspense is cold, Red.**

Barry typed out a reply and locked his phone back.

**Scarlet: I can vibrate every inch of my body, at will, for _hours_.**

Barry sped into his street clothes and pocketed his phone. “I’m calling it a night, guys,” he said, walking toward the exit.

“Wait,” Cisco called out. “What’s with the laughter? Who was texting you?”

Barry smirked but kept walking. “See you tomorrow.”

As soon as he was outside, he sped to his apartment and ghosted through the door. Barry kicked off his shoes and headed to the kitchen for something to eat. He only took two steps before the sound of a throat clearing behind him had him spinning around. 

Len was leaning against the frame of his bedroom door, unashamedly naked and very, very aroused. “I cannot believe you’ve been hiding this from me, Scarlet.”

Barry licked his lips and walked toward the other man. “Are you going to stop stealing my movies?” he asked.

Len smirked and walked backwards into the bedroom, never taking his eyes off Barry. “I probably wouldn’t have time to watch movies if I was busy with other activities,” he purred.

Barry stripped off his t-shirt and reached down to unfasten his jeans. “The things I do to keep the streets safe,” he teased.

Len let himself fall back onto the bed, eyes smoldering with lust. “That’s right, Flash. Get over here and subdue your boyfriend.”

Barry laughed as he kicked the bedroom door closed and finished undressing. “You’re such a jackass. Why do I put up with you again?”

“Months,” Len pointed out. “Been together for months and not a single vibration. You owe me, Barry.”

A happy laugh escaped as Barry crawled over him and pressed their bodies together. “I’ve been saving it for a rainy day.”

“Now who’s the jackass?” Len asked, wrapping his arms around Barry’d neck.

“You love it,” Barry pointed out as he began pressing kisses along Len’s neck.

“You love teasing,” Len pouted.

Barry’s expression softened as he dipped his head and tenderly kissed Len. “I love you,” he corrected.

Len cradled Barry’s face in his hands. “I love you, too,” he admitted. He kissed Barry firmly before spreading out like a starfish underneath him. "Now, vibrate!"


End file.
